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What do I mean by Conscious Crossroads?

Updated: Feb 16, 2023


We live so much of our modern lives unconsciously. Meaning that we simply "go through the motions" of life, without really being present, oftentimes without a thought of what it is that is driving us. Most of us follow a routine every day. We get up around the same time, follow our morning rituals, drive the same route to work, go through the motions of a work day, same route home, same nightly rituals, rinse and repeat. Pay particular attention tomorrow morning. You likely shower following the same routine, dry off your body in the same order, put on your pants and socks with the same leg first - every day. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, "We think 60-70,000 thoughts a day. 90% of those thoughts are the same thoughts of the day before. The same thoughts lead to the same choices, the same choices will lead to the same behaviors, those same behaviors will create the same experiences."

Several years ago, I realized I was living extremely unconsciously. For a few years, my husband and I owned a home on the beautiful Caribbean island of St. Croix, and most of our time was spent either drinking on the beach, or recovering, from drinking on the beach. I did not soak up the gift of nature that surrounded me, in a real, present, conscious way. Looking back on it now, I realize that I took advantage of Mother Nature's abundance of beauty and her many gifts. We had a great time and met life-long friends on island, but while we lived there I chose to soak up all of the superficial pleasure I could, from every moment, while managing to never really be present for any of it. When I realized that this routine was no longer serving me, and my physical health was suffering, I accepted that I needed to make a conscious effort to make different choices, to produce a different outcome.

Me @ Hams Bluff Lighthouse, North Shore, St. Croix USVI.

My husband and I sold our island home and moved to New Mexico in May of 2019. My view has changed from the Caribbean sea to the Manzano Mountains and while I still look up at the same sky, I see it differently today than I did a few short years ago. My daily routine is vastly different. It now includes Yoga and meditation, breath work and journaling. My kitchen has become my sacred space, where I cook 90% of all of our meals; rarely do we eat out anymore. I've taken up gardening and had an abundant yield my first year! I've just returned from a life-changing trip to Peru where I spent 10 days isolated in a jungle hut, observing noble silence and being fully present with nature. I've begun to lead a more conscious life, and my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being have benefitted immeasurably.

My new, more conscious, life-style afforded me the stillness and silence to review my life experiences from a new perspective, to heal past traumas and to begin to listen to my own inner voice. Listening to this new-found inner guidance and intuition led me to the Conscious Dying Institute and their End-of-Life Coach and Sacred Passage End-of-Life Doula program. I now understand that all of my past experiences were necessary as part of the training ground I needed to do this deep, sacred work.


I do not view death as a destination, an end point, or a finality. I view it as a transition, from one state of being, into another. I view the time of death as a crossroads, an intersection of life in this world, and the state that we transition or return to, when we enter the "after-life" stage.

There are so many different ways of looking at the after-life, so many different beliefs about how we get there, where it is that we go. So many different words used to describe this "place". Is it a place? A space? A dimension? I don't have the answers, but I'm incredibly intrigued by the endless possibilities.

Conscious Crossroads

When I reach the end of my time on Earth and its time to conclude my human experience, I choose to arrive at the crossroads between life and death as consciously as possible. I choose to embrace curiosity surrounding the journey. I choose to embrace the questions surrounding my own mortality and unavoidable death, rather than to embrace fear and anxiety surrounding the ambiguity of my eventual destination.

What would it take for each of us to honestly, openly, and consciously embrace death as a natural and unavoidable part of our life-cycle? What would it take for us to begin to plan and prepare for the inevitable, not only when we are ill and elderly, but when we are young and healthy? What if we were all to gift our surviving friends and loved ones with our wishes and desires written out as a plan, for them to simply follow?

As we plan and prepare for a conscious death, we unconsciously begin to live more conscious lives.

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